Bits & Bytes
- Drat! Misquoted agin!--On NBC's Late Night with Conan O'Brian, a
portrayal of President Clinton responded to the allegations surrounding
former intern Monica Lewinsky. "I never told her to lie in the
deposition," he asserted, "I told her to 'lie there in dat position!'"
- Clinton's "presidency" to be "cut short"?--Unconfirmed reports
state that Hillary Clinton is considering appointing Lorena Bobbit as a
- In almost unrelated news-- The January 24
Herald-Times reported a court orer stating any woman who plans to
go to bed with Jerrime Day of Orlando, FL must sign a consent form in
front of a witness acknowledging the fact that Day is HIV-positive. If
only Bill Clinton had to go through such procedures, maybe he wouldn't be
in as much trouble as he is!
- He has something to look forward to--Of a speech by Al Gore at
the University of Illinois, a student remarked, "he was completely
enthused." We think we know why Al's happy, but it remains to be answered
HOW this student could TELL that he was 'enthused."
- What next, black helicopters at Camp David?--In a rare moment
of paranoia, Hillary Clinton asserted that the sexual misconduct
allegations against President Clinton are part of a "vast right-wing
conspiracy." Click here to find out more!